Gratitude During Difficult Times
It was the perfect time to visit Sydney. Jacarandas were glorious in their purple beauty, my mum’s favourite colour. It was warm but not too hot. There were not a lot of tourists on the beaches. I was looking forward to my family coming over to visit me for the first time in 16 years since I moved to Australia.
And then…. The accident happened on the way to the airport. Everything was in a fog. How did this happen? Why? Why did it happen? How was it even possible?! What if they left just a minute later or two minutes earlier? It wouldn’t have happened. A drunk driver drove into the opposite lane.
My dad spent 11 days in ICU. My mum and my brother were ok and went home. I flew to Estonia instead of them flying to see me.
It was then I took a book with me that I was given by my friend (thank you, Kate). The book was The Magic by Rhonda Byrne. The first chapter was on gratitude. I thought I had nothing to be grateful for. I cried so much, but mostly, I was angry. So angry. Why?! Why did it happen?!!
I started following the steps in the book. It advised me to write a list of what I was grateful for every day. Nothing is too small. So I started:
I’m grateful that my dad is ok after surgery.
I’m grateful that my mum is ok.
I’m grateful that my brother’s pain in the ribs was fixable and nothing was wrong inside.
I’m grateful that I can see my sister and her family.
I’m grateful I had money to buy a ticket a day before I flew.
I’m grateful…
And I continued doing this day after day. I still have those lists.
It didn’t happen overnight. It took several years. My brother’s trip to Sydney two years later after the accident, a lot of writing because it’s something that helps me to go through difficult times and tapping (EFT — emotional freedom technique). But eventually, I let go of that anger.
Looking back, everything started from that book and my gratitude lists. It gave me moments (at the time) of calm and peace. It helped me to enjoy the time I spent with my family.
Even if you feel betrayed, are in pain or feel loss, anger or any other difficult feeling to process, try to take a breath and notice something good. A beautiful flower that makes you feel a little bit better or music that can sometimes heal your heart. Say thank you for these small things and feel what changed.
I dedicated a chapter in my book, A Tiny Book of Joy, to finding gratitude during difficult times. It was the most challenging chapter for me to write. I cried almost every time I was in front of my laptop, writing it. And we spent most of the time with my editor on this chapter.
I hope it will help you find a little peace during this difficult time because it’s possible. From there, you’ll take tiny steps. Sometimes it will look like you didn’t move at all, but you do, and you’ll arrive at the place where you feel better.
Olya
“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow”
~ Melody Beattie